Thanks for writing this. It’s a great reminder to be more mindful of what others might be going through, particularly the reminder about how differently the pandemic affected people. As someone from Australia where we were spared a lot of the suffering of the rest of the world it can be easy to forget the trauma other parts of the world experienced.
A version of this has happened to me as well. The truth is it is horrible and hurtful. For years I thought it was my own fault because I don't look needy. I even had that said to me. So I tried to explain my needs but still no luck :) Then I realised if you are capable and resourceful (which you no doubt are) that is a good thing and deserves to be celebrated however, what it doesn't mean is that you have no needs. I now have two (private) categories of people in my life - people who will never support me and people who reciprocate the love and care. Because I would hate to be the person who leaves anybody in trouble if I can help I will still help even people who won't reciprocate but only if it is absolutely essential. I may not send a birthday text, or attend a party but if they are in real trouble I will turn up. I would help a stranger after all and that, in effect, is what they have become to me. This is about who I am, I don't want to be narcisssistic like them and I won't let even their negative behaviour define who I am. I am very lucky though because I also have people in my life who reciprocate the love. (sounds like you have too) Don't be angry with yourself. You sound like a lovely, generous kind person and that is something to be proud of, you didn't do anything wrong and, tbh, I think some of those people are probably jealous (BAFTA ignoring)!
Hey there, thank you so much for such a thoughtful, articulate and generous reply. That means a huge amount to me. I really look forward to reading your work in the morning.
Thanks for writing this. It’s a great reminder to be more mindful of what others might be going through, particularly the reminder about how differently the pandemic affected people. As someone from Australia where we were spared a lot of the suffering of the rest of the world it can be easy to forget the trauma other parts of the world experienced.
Thank you so much for this – that really means a lot.
A version of this has happened to me as well. The truth is it is horrible and hurtful. For years I thought it was my own fault because I don't look needy. I even had that said to me. So I tried to explain my needs but still no luck :) Then I realised if you are capable and resourceful (which you no doubt are) that is a good thing and deserves to be celebrated however, what it doesn't mean is that you have no needs. I now have two (private) categories of people in my life - people who will never support me and people who reciprocate the love and care. Because I would hate to be the person who leaves anybody in trouble if I can help I will still help even people who won't reciprocate but only if it is absolutely essential. I may not send a birthday text, or attend a party but if they are in real trouble I will turn up. I would help a stranger after all and that, in effect, is what they have become to me. This is about who I am, I don't want to be narcisssistic like them and I won't let even their negative behaviour define who I am. I am very lucky though because I also have people in my life who reciprocate the love. (sounds like you have too) Don't be angry with yourself. You sound like a lovely, generous kind person and that is something to be proud of, you didn't do anything wrong and, tbh, I think some of those people are probably jealous (BAFTA ignoring)!
Hey there, thank you so much for such a thoughtful, articulate and generous reply. That means a huge amount to me. I really look forward to reading your work in the morning.